I: An Introduction

My name is Kim and I have an addiction to food.

[Insert the drone of "Hi Kim"'s because this is clearly an AA meeting]

I've been overweight for as long as I can remember. To my credit, I have a bad memory so however long "as long as I can remember is" is pretty much up for debate. The one thing I do know, however, is I have been in a constant power struggle for control over my own body. I'm not going to give this spiel about how I don't know how I became over 100 pounds overweight, because that would be a lie. I'm this way because of my addiction to everything that is not right for me. Fried foods, candy, cakes, soda, sugar sugar sugar. I had horrible eating habits growing up, and I have horrible eating habits now. 

I have never ever been happy in my own skin and when you combine that with the fact that I am 100% an emotional eater, you have an endless cycle of trying to lose the weight and failing because I broke down and had a soda or ate a chocolate bar and then I gave up because I felt like that one fault was my downfall. I felt like every day I didn't excersize was a failure on my end and because I was on a downward spiral anyway, I just let it happen. I didn't fight my failure. And in the end, this was always my coup de grâce.

I stopped making New Years Resolutions a few years ago because my "resolutions" always were to lose weight and it never happened. True story of all resolutions though, am I right? Anyway I favor the idea of New Years Affirmations, and while it had been a good 5 months since the beginning of the New Year, I finally decided in May that it was time to get my life in check. I was, and I still am, dead set in believing in myself and finding the "me I always wanted to be." This doesn't just pertain to my weight loss (or the releasing of my weight as I like to think of it - I'm not losing it to find it again, I'm releasing it and letting it go), it goes hand in hand with finding my true mission in life. Finding that one thing that I absolutely love, that one thing that I would feel comfortable doing for free and talking myself into doing it for the rest of my life.

The one thing I've always been 100% sure on is that I live a blessed life. It has its ups and its downs, but bottom line is: I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and a bed to sleep on. I have people who love me and who stand behind me no matter how many times I've set a goal and fail. This is the reason why I've been so public with my goals this time. I know that the minute I stop talking about my exercise habits and how excited I am with losing 0.2 pounds in one day, there is going to be at least one person who is going to speak up. I am not going to lie to you, it's been extremely hard the past month for reasons I am not going to name because they are all just excuses. However, by some miracle I have managed not surpass 280 pounds since I got below that number last month.

My hope with starting this blog and chronicling my journey is to inspire and motivate, and also to find inspiration and motivation. It's hard going on this journey alone and by reaching out, you're bound to find someone traveling down the same path. I hope you'll join me on my path and allow me to join you on yours.